Best ignored: Daphne Guinness. Photograph: Matt Baron/BEI/Rex Features
So some socialite said something about not eating until she's dead in an interview and everyone on the internet got very upset about it. Is it worthy of my upset? Mary, by email In all honesty? No. But I'm intrigued by your claim that everyone on the internet got upset about the New Yorker interview with Daphne Guinness, which is the interview of which you speak. Really – everyone on the internet? Those Google boys, the White House, LulzSec? Everyone? I'd have thought Julian Assange, at least, would have been too busy trying to suppress the memoir he took the money for to bother with this non-furore. After all, if Julian doesn't want something to be published and it is published, it's not free speech – it's just rude. Anyway, I apologise for mocking your hyperbole because I know that by "everyone" you meant "the Daily Mail and bloggers with too much time on their hands". But the point is that you can't mock other people for being hysterical and over the top when you're being so yourself. And that's what the reaction to this dumb quote from Guinness was: as over the top as her fashion sense and self-obsession. You know, when I first read this interview I barely noticed that quote. To give some context, the journalist is watching Guinness do a fashion shoot for German Vogue with Bryan Adams. Yes, that Bryan Adams. Look, I'm doing my best to focus on the question so let's just carry on. At one point Guinness announces: "If I eat, I can't work. I'll eat when I'm dead." Now, leaving aside the idea that Guinness considers lolling about with a – and I'm not making this up – belljar on her head to be "work" is intriguing enough. But to be honest, after all the other crap Guinness comes out with in this interview, a skinny socialite announcing she doesn't view food as a necessary part to her day seems hardly worth one's time. Let's see; there's the bit when she announces that Hitler was "the most uncharming man I've ever seen". Whoa, watch yourself there, Daphne, coming on a bit strong, aintcha? Then there's Guinness saying that her grandmother, Diana Mitford Guinness Mosley, insisted that Hitler was just "unphotogenic" and "very, very funny". Ah, so that was his problem: his sense of humour simply could not be captured by film. No wonder the man's been so misunderstood. Then there's the brilliant bit when Guinness is asked if she's ever had no money: "Oh God, yes. You know, it happens often that you forget your wallet or something. But you just make your way back. You find some way to do it. You WALK." But of course, the tabloids and blogs think the eating habits or otherwise of the fashion crowd are the most fascinating thing in the world and possibly the most evil so, inevitably, a casual comment about whether or not one eats on a fashion shoot would get more attention than references to Hitler. It happened when Kate Moss claimed "nothing tastes as good as being thin" and it's happened again. If we're going to focus on fashion, I personally found Guinness's claim that "uncomfortable is the name of the [fashion] game" far more disturbing than her rejection of a plate of pasta, considering the number of times she has described her fashion as "armour" and what have you. So, fashion is less self-expression and protection and more a form of masochism to you, is it, Daphne? Now that is disturbing. Is it acceptable to wear shorts with tights to formal occasions? Shorts give greater mobility and modesty than a skirt. Hannah, by email Now, I have been pushing/working/maxing/[insert whatever is this month's fashion verb for "wearing"] this look for literally years, and not necessarily to a positive reaction. Here's the thing, Hannah: while all of your reasons for considering the shorts'n'tights look are right, I'll tell you a funny thing – straight boys don't like it. I'm not quite sure why. After all, shorts can be just as short, maybe even shorter, than a skirt. Maybe they think an extra gusset lessens their possibility of access, if you see what I mean, even if their chances of access are absolutely nil. This shouldn't stop you from wearing them, of course. If we all dressed according to what straight men probably want then we'd all dress like Elizabeth Hurley and, thankfully, we do not. In fact, I recently spent a silly amount of money on a pair of sequinned 3.1 Philip Lim shorts, and I love them. I will wear them out dancing with the ladies. But will I wear them on a hot date? I will not. And that, frankly, is his loss. dj-egypt.com mazzika
